So I got two super fun messages this weekend from two separate guys that I didn’t initially respond to for two excellent reasons.
The first was from a man on Match who I didn’t respond to because I saw in his profile that he didn’t want kids. Now, that’s fine for him, but I do want kids, and it’s a dealbreaker for me. When I didn’t respond to him, he called me a racist woman!
Anybody who knows me knows that I’m far from racist. I don’t care if you’re white, black, brown, or purple. However, I’m not going to respond to somebody who doesn’t want what I want and waste both of our time just to show that I’m not racist. That in itself would be… kind of racist.
Then I got a message from a “nice guy” on eHarmony I didn’t respond to because he was out of state. He then asked why I didn’t respond, which I usually don’t answer (because all it causes is trouble). However, since it had nothing to do with him as a person, I just told him it was because he lived too far away and wasn’t personal.
He then proceeded to call me a stuck-up, narcissistic, selfish bitch who only liked assholes and that assholes were ruining dating apps for nice guys like him.
So clearly, he’s not a nice guy, but a “nice guy.” So I deleted that match as quickly as I could. It’s a good thing he didn’t live nearby. I would have responded to him the first time. I really dodged a bullet there.
But here’s the thing: it doesn’t even matter why I didn’t like these guys. I could have been turned off by something they said in their profile, I could have felt we were incompatible, or I simply could not have been attracted to them. I have every right to not like somebody for any reason.
Undoubtedly, not everybody likes me on dating apps for all of those reasons! But I don’t ask them why they don’t respond. They have every right not to like me, and I don’t lose sleep over it. Because that’s the thing: not everybody will like us in life, especially when it comes to dating, and that is okay.
It’s not something to get upset over, and it’s definitely not worth calling somebody hurtful names over. But, even if they’re calling me names for absurd reasons, I’m sensitive, and I still get my feelings hurt.
However, this is the brutal world of online dating. Nobody ever said it would be easy or fun. That’s for damn sure.